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[21 Oct 2004|01:12pm] |
I am not aloud to be surprised, regarding gifts. I don't know why, but I can't; no shock and awe for me. I was talk to my brother on the tele and he told me ooh mom's got a surprise for you in your package. I was immediately pissed because now I knew I was getting something else of the unknown in my package. I would have loved to open my apartment door to receive my package open it and be delightfully surprised to discover there would be more then I had anticipated. So, I immediately began to wonder what else was in my package. I had a few ideas. My brother kept telling me don’t worry you will never guess what it is, yet I thought of it before he even finished the above proclamation. Then, when the package did arrive because I knew something else was in it I could help but notice that on the customs form it said clothing. I knew for sure what it was then. It would have been one of the best surprises ever! It is a t shirt! I just had to try it on; I could contain my quivering knees anymore. Surprised I was not able to be because the shirt was gargantchwuann. Another instance where I was unable to be surprised was my previous birthday or two ago. A week before my birthday my brother and I where in walmart in the food centre because we had no food, accordingly. He grabbed some hot dogs and I told him I didn’t want them. He said “I thought you liked hot dogs.” I said I do but I’m just growing a little tired of hot dogs. He said oh well I guess I need to call mom then. My mom had purchased me a toast that cooks two hot dogs and two buns at a time. It is the coolest gift in the world, and it would have been such a neat surprise, but I again was robbed of the delightful emotion of surprise. Wow I am having such déjà vu experience right now its not even funny. I was going to type the sentence (and I’m not even surprised by that) but I saw the visual picture beforehand my eyes are so fucked up. I have way too many instances of those. The other instance of nonsurprising happened over 8 years. Christmas time, this is partially my own fault in some instances because I would look to see my gift before wrapage would occur. However, my dad and step mother, aka “D” and the “B”; would not even surprise my brother and I on Christmas. I did not necessarily need to receive some grand present every year but once in a while so I could smile with glee on Christmas morning. No! If I wasn’t something “BIG” I had to pay for half of it. I guess it helped me learn how to spend and save money, but I was stoned of being able to feel true surprise. Like when you give your parents your Christmas list and you wonder what you’re going to get. D and the B would say ‘we’ll get you this but you have to pay for half of it.
Pete is what they called this clever feller
They called hi this like non other
Sit a while and I will tell you why my brother
He woke every morning, fresh and a new
Gods gift to heaven – a special brew
He would see blue velvet skies, moonpies, along the dockside
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[31 Aug 2004|12:36pm] |
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Everyone be sure to watch espn2 tonight at 7pm, thanks.
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[06 Jul 2004|09:34pm] |
Dedicated to Mr. Howard; inspiring one to become an active moviegoer
Likely you are among the many millions who have seen the second installment of the Spiderman franchise. Twenty-four hours short of being a week since the movies release does not help my elapsing memory which is so intangible to the conscious mind that its porous mass could sustain as a reservoir for the flooding rapids of the Mississippi; shall we…
The most intriguing aspect of the superhero is not their ability to be centre of attention, but their own disenfranchising conundrum in their mind. The formula which by all superhero movies should follow, that of splendid spectacles and illusionistic revels in the first, and in the second that of the described. Which seems to be the biggest quarrel amongst all, sequels unable to conquer their predecessor in the plot or story depth. Spiderman 2 had unrivaled success by examining the life of a college student named Peter Parker, who lives two lives that are more then demanding. Scientific genius, college student, loving nephew, photographer, pizza delivery boy, half ass boyfriend, and he has a second life as well. This movie showed the everyday struggle of Peter Parker and how his life on both ends is on the edge waiting, waiting for the weight of everything to come clashing down upon it. This movie shows his undying love for Mary Jane Watson who although doesn’t tell her best friend, Peter Parker, that she is on the verge of marriage even though it seems that she and her fiancée had only known one another for some short time. There was also some key moments between Harry Osbourne and Peter Parker that foreshadowed conflicts. Aunt May and Peter had a heart wrenching moment as Peter revealed the actual happens in the leading moments to, the beloved husband and Uncle, Uncle Ben death, among other things that unraveled with Peters immediate family.
The best scene in the movie was the operation scene; when the doctors were trying to remove the arms from Otto. It was brilliant. Loud screams, dark shadows, and a screeching chainsaw. This scene also had no music to it. It seemed to come right out of some horror flick. The profile screams were so amazing, I could not stand it, it made me feel awkward, yet I could not look away. And in other scenes with Dr. Octopus there was really weird and different action going on in the background that kept my attention scrambling for such tantalizing details.
Which could be considered the greatest villain of any superhero movie ever. Otto Octavius, alter ego Dr. Octopus, was awesome. A villain with death defying, most convenient weaponry struck terror and fear into the soul of the citizens of New York and the patrons in the theatre; a villain that could be felt in the souls of your feet. It seemed that Dr. Octopus did not have many scenes in the movie; however, this was a great advantage because it gave him so much power, he seemed larger then life. Many people are afraid of the unknown things like spiders or sharks because they fear it and want nothing to do with it. People fear what they don’t understand. Dr. Octopus was able to convey this type of austere, and he was felt coming for miles. Because of this type of villain, Spiderman was able to become more important in this film. Literally, Spiderman had to fight five people at once. This enabled Spiderman to become more agile and aware of himself, stronger, and faster. It also gave Dr. Octopus something no other villain has ever had, the shear presence and ability that could be rivaled by non-other then someone with equal abilities. He was something only a true hero could handle. Spiderman 2 was an amazing ride the will continue with Spiderman facing foes that will demand your respect and attention…did anyone happen to notice the Lizard’s shadow against one of the buildings in the end?
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[06 Jun 2004|01:44pm] |
| doodilybear's LJ stalker is minthoney! | | minthoney is stalking you because they have you confused with someone else whom they love. They are also leaving anonymous abuse on your journal! |
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| LORD STANLEY!!!! |
[25 May 2004|06:08pm] |
The Stanley Cup begins only to end
Stanley Cup finals
1Lightening vs. 6Flames: Flames in 6.
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[24 May 2004|08:12pm] |
GUINNESS: You like to be known as a past-tense
heavy drinker and are full of stories of antics
from your 'youth.' You consider yourself more
mature than those 'other' beer drinkers, and
your taste reflects that.
The Greatest Beer Quiz, ever!
brought to you by Quizilla
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[19 May 2004|11:59pm] |
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I can't wait to get my boston terrier! Depending on when I get a real job it could be right out of college or who knows when. I am also excited about getting a cat too. My cats name will be pepper 2, and the boston terrier will be milo.
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| ROUND 3!! |
[11 May 2004|08:03pm] |
Round 2 50/50.
Western Conference Finals
2Sharks vs. 6Flames: Flames in 6.
Eastern Conference Finals
1Lightening vs. 3Flyers: Flyers in 6.
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| GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Round two: Return of Composure |
[22 Apr 2004|08:22am] |
Well first found was full of excitement. I was 5-3 overall, I should have never picked Nashville and I should have picked Calgary. I really did want the Flames to win; they did, and I was being moronic to pick the Preds.
Round 2
Eastern Conference
Semifinals
1Lightening vs. 7Canadiens: I was surprised to see Lightening here but when a goalie lives up to his name 'the berlin wall' rubber cannot penetrate concrete. However, I have seen a toothpick jammed through a steel pole after a tornado...hint hint. The Canadiens won three in a row after down two; nothing can stop the Canadien fury. Canadiens in 6.
3Flyers vs. 4Leafs: Come on! Leafs in 6. I will say the flyers are the only team that makes a little nervous.
Western Conferece
Semifinals
1Red Wings vs. 6Flames: Wings in 7. The Flames cannot get flustered just grind it out.
2Sharks vs. 4Avs: Avs in 5. What a westcoast conference final this would be.
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[15 Apr 2004|12:31pm] |
"I want everyone who reads this to ask me 3 questions, no more no less. Ask me anything you want. Then I want you to go to your journal, copy and paste this allowing your friends (including myself) to ask you anything.
Throw at me what you got. The weirder, the more fun it will be."
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[10 Apr 2004|12:35am] |
| Your Ultimate Purity Score Is... | | Category | Your Score | Average | | Self-Lovin' | 81.7%
Never taken out of the packaging | 65.1% | | Shamelessness | 97.6%
Has yet to see self in mirror | 79.4% | | Sex Drive | 94.7%
The Pope is envious | 77.7% | | Straightness | 85.7%
Just go fuck something, okay? | 44.9% | | Gayness | 100%
| 83.6% |
| Fucking Sick | 100%
| 90% |
You are 92.33% pure
Average Score: 72.7%
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[06 Apr 2004|09:27pm] |
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I am writing a paper about the theme of beauty of the female figure in paintings by Jenny Saville and Lucien Freud. It is going to BE sooooo CRAZY!!
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| Playoff time |
[04 Apr 2004|05:57pm] |
Everyone watch the NHL playoffs on ESPN AND ESPN2, and the quest for Lord Stanley. Here is my layout of the Land.
Playoff time!
Clarence Campbell Conference
Clarence Campbell quarter finals
1 Red Wings vs. 8 Preds: Predators win series in 7.
2 Sharks vs. 7 Blues: Sharks win series in 4 or 5.
3 Canucks vs. 6 Flames: Canucks win in 6.
4 Avs vs. 5 Stars: Avs win in 6.
Clarence Campbell semi-finals
2 Sharks vs. 8 Preds: Sharks win in 6.
3 Canucks vs. 4 Avs: Canucks win in 7.
Clarence Campbell finals
2 Sharks vs. 3 Canucks: Canucks win in 5.
Prince of Whales Conference
Prince of Whales semi-finals
1 Lightening vs. 8 Gordon's Fish sticks: Islanders win in 6.
2 Bruins vs. 7 Canadiens: Canadiens win in 7.
3 Flyers vs. 6 Devils: Flyers win in 7.
4 Maple leafs vs. 5 Sens: Leafs win in 7.
Prince of Whales quarter finals
3 Flyers vs. 8 Islanders: Flyers win in 5.
4 Maple leafs vs. 7 Canadiens: Leafs win in 6.
Prince of Whales finals
3 Flyers vs. 4 Maple Leafs: Leafs win 7
STANLEY CUP FINALS
3 CANUCKS vs. 4 MAPLE LEAFS: Leafs win in 6.
What I would really like to see in the east is the Lightening beat the Islanders; then they would play Montreal. Leafs would play the Flyers. so the eastern Conference final would be between the Leafs and the Canadiens, but I really don't think the Lightening will advance past the first round. I'm trying to looks at this more like Hitchcock then Quinn, its hard, so below is how I want the east to work and this is going to be how it works out.
Prince of Whales Conference
Prince of Whales semi-finals
1 Lightening vs. 8 Islandsers: Lightening win in 6.
2 Bruins vs. 7 Canadiens: Canadiens win in 7.
3 Flyers vs. 6 Devils: Flyers win in 7.
4 Maple leafs vs. 5 Sens: Leafs win in 7.
Prince of Whales quarter finals
1 Lightening vs. 7 Canadiens: Canadiens win in 6.
3 Flyers vs. 4 Maple Leafs: Leafs win in 7.
Prince of Whales finals
4 Maple Leafs vs. 7 Canadiens: Leafs win 7.
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| joke of 2:47 |
[13 Mar 2004|02:30am] |
A 92-year-old man moved into a retirement home where he immediately met a 90 year old woman. They hit it off right away.
After a few weeks of spending time together, the man said, “You know, we’re past our sexual years, so I wonder if it would be okay for you to just hold my penis in your hand.”
The woman seemed surprised, but said, “Well, I guess it wouldn’t do any harm to just hold it.” So, for the next few weeks, they could always be found on a park bench near a lake, the lady holding the man’s penis in her hand.
One day the old man didn’t show up. Beginning to worry, the lady set out in search of him. A few blocks away, sitting on another park bench was the old man…with another woman.
The first old lady approached the couple and saw the other woman holding the man’s penis in her hand. She became very upset and yelled to the man, “I thought we had something special. Now, I find you with another woman, and she’s holding your penis in her hand. What does she have that I don’t have???”
The old man looked up, smiled, and said…“Parkinson’s.”
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| The "just when I thought it was going to be lame" joke of the hour |
[13 Mar 2004|02:29am] |
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A little boy came down to breakfast. Since he lived on a farm, his mother asked if he had done his chores.
“Not yet,” said the little boy. His mother tells him he can’t have any breakfast until he does his chores. Well, he’s a little pissed, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig.
He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal. “How come I don’t get any eggs and bacon? Why don’t I have any milk in my cereal?” he asks.
“Well,” his mother says, “I saw you kick a chicken, so you don’t get any eggs. I saw you kick the pig, so you don’t get any bacon, either. I also saw you kick the cow, so you aren’t getting any milk this morning.”
Just about then, his father comes down for breakfast, and he kicks the cat as he’s walking into the kitchen. The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says, “Are you going to tell him, or should I?”
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| The "thats just wrong" joke of the day |
[13 Mar 2004|02:17am] |
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A young man is walking down by the docks one day and decides to stop by a bar and have a beer. He walks into a bar, and sees a grizzled old fisherman, crying into his beer. Curious, the young man sits down and says, “Hey old timer, why the long face?”
The old man looks at him and points out the window, “See that dock out there? I built that dock with my own two hands, plank by plank, nail by nail, but do they call me Simon the dockbuilder? No,no."
The old man continued, “And see that ship out there? I ’ve been fishing these waters for going on thirty-five years! but do they call me Simon the fisherman? No,no. ”
The old man starts to cry again, “But you fuck one goat … ”
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| blonde joke of the day |
[13 Mar 2004|02:15am] |
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Returning home from work, a blonde is shocked to find her house burglarized. She telephones the police, and a nearby K-9 unit is the first to respond. As the officer and dog approach the house, the woman storms out onto the porch and shouts, “I get robbed, I call the police for help, and they send me a blind cop?”
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| joke of the past ten minutes |
[13 Mar 2004|02:09am] |
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A blonde goes into a laundry mat and asks to have her sweater cleaned. The laundromat attendant doesn’t hear her correctly and says, "Come again?"
The blonde blushes slightly and giggles, "Oh, no it’s just mustard this time."
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| joke of the day |
[13 Mar 2004|02:03am] |
A man gets home, screeches his car into the driveway, runs into the house, slams the door and shouts at the top of his lungs, "Honey,pack your bags. I won the damn lottery!"
The wife says,"Ohmigod! No shit?! What should I pack,beach stuff or mountain stuff?"
The husband yells back,"It doesn’t matter… just get the hell out!"
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